Probably the single best window into the workings of Karl’s “mind” would be his “hideously experimental homepage”.
This isn’t so much a “homepage” as an entire site of pages dedicated to….well, you’ll see for yourselves. 🙂
Karl brags about the fact that he “hand-coded” the various pages using a text editor (as opposed to a WYSIWYG editor.)
This would be more impressive, if he had also put even a modicum of thought into ensuring that the site itself wasn’t blindingly ugly.
THIS is the background image, in isolation:
A rundown of the contents:
- A color-spiral (most likely screen-capped from some “Euro-Demo” or other)
- Some partially-disassembled computers
- An Amiga
- A TRS-80 Coco 2
- some random bread-boarded mess
- A kitten
Keep in mind: he didn’t simply post the separate images themselves. Instead, he as COMBINED THEM INTO A SINGLE, COMPOSITE IMAGE, which is then “tiled”, for use as the background image on the FIRST page confronting visitors to his ugly-ass page.
Now,, (assuming that visitors haven’t simply fled from this hideous, seizure-inducing monstrosity out of hand, we get to what Karl considers to constitute worthwhile “content” for a web-site.
First, we get THIS:
Karl claims to love Max Headroom.
Now, you might be wondering why he is such a fan. Is it because anything about the show itself makes for worthwhile viewing?
Karl’s “reasoning” is as follows:
“Max rulez! Partly because, like Techno’s web pages, he was created on an
Notwithstanding the publicity for the character, the real image of Max was not computer-generated. Computing technology in the mid-1980s was not sufficiently advanced for a full-motion, voice-synchronized human head to be practical for a television series. Max’s image was actually that of actor Matt Frewer in latex and foam prosthetic makeup with a fiberglass suit created by Peter Litten and John Humphreys of Coast to Coast Productions in the UK. This was then superimposed over a moving geometric background. Even the background was not created using computer graphics at first; it was a piece of hand-drawn cel animation produced by Rod Lord, who created similar “computer-generated” images for the TV series Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Later, in the United States version, the backgrounds were generated by a Commodore Amiga computer.
In other words (according to Karl’s “reasoning”), the only thing about Max Headroom which actually ‘rulez” is the fact that they generated the background imagery behind a guy in a latex mask, using an Amiga computer – during that latter part of the U.S. run of the show.
Moreover, even when they used an Amiga, it was merely to duplicate the existing cel-animations.
(Sorry, but this strikes me as equivalent to claiming that 1980s TV news “rulez” because they happened to use a “video-toaster” to do the text overlays).
Some other “highlights” of this ugly train-wreck of a “homepage”:
The Psion Series 3c is Techno’s favorite portable computer
(at least until the development of an Amiga laptop)
Techno compares Personal Digital Assistants and Palmtops
One 8-bit microcomputer stands out above the rest:
the TRS-80 Color Computer
The TRS-80 Model 100 is an impressive retro portable computer
Check out Techno’s Microcomputer Museum and Calculator Collection
Techno comments on the PC and the Mac
Techno rants and raves on various topics…
Another product of Techno’s twisted mind: Binary Poetry
Now, notice a few things:
- Any sane person would place the Psion series 3c stuff as a sub-page in his comparison of “personal digital assistants and palmtops”.
- Why the hell is the Color Computer stuff NOT a sub-page of his “computer museum”?
- He has a calculator collection.
I’m not going to waste time wading through his inane yip-yap about computers, except to point out that he couldn’t even get the “max Headroom” thing right. Make of this what you will.
My only major other complaint about this is his use of the term “PeeCee” in reference to what any sane person would probably term either “Wintel” or “x86-architecture”, or suchlike.
(True, I use the term “Micro$oft” occasionally, but that is a genuinely clever “wordplay”, based on the fact that the corporation in question is rapaciously greedy and “gouging”).
The term “PeeCee” is just….what, exactly?
Does he believe that DELIBERATELY ADDING extraneous letters is somehow “pejorative”, in some way?
Are we supposed to think of “seeing” someone “pee?”
At any rate:
After his (poorly-sorted) internal link-farm, the illustrious gentleman goes on to opine thusly:
This page looks best viewed on an Amiga, but supports all browsers (including Lynx, like any worthwhile page). Techno’s pages are not enhanced for Netscrape, and the only sort of Explorer which meets with Techno’s approval comes from Ford.
This page is perpetually under construction…
Last updated: 14 February 2001 (but Techno’s other pages may have been updated more recently)
Ah….where to even begin? (sigh….)
- The fact that his “perpetually under-construction” site hasn’t been updated in nearly twenty years?
- The fact that the aforementioned Ford Explorer ended up undrivable, langishing in his parents’ back yard — with animals living in it?
- Yes Karl, we totally “get” the fact that the Amiga gives you total “Geek-wood”. You *also* “collect” calculators.
I think the most blatantly idiotic part of the whole site is the Binary Poetry:
Well, it rhymes, doesn’t it? 🙂
Converting the above from binary to decimal, we get:
Answer: No, you pretentious, pseudo-intellectual little shit-nugget, is DOESN”t “rhyme”.
There: I’ve saved you the trouble of having to wade through Karl’s inane, brain-destroying “homepage”.
You’re welcome. 🙂